The very well-produced Netflix show The Crown has been generating a lot of controversy all over the world. It seems there’s a great divide: British people and the royal family themselves hate it, as they wish it were more faithful to reality and less disrespectful to their beloved monarchy. Commoners around the globe, on the other hand, love the exceptionally good writing, the dazzling performances and thrilling storylines. They watch it as a soap opera – as they should.
What nobody seems to be taking into consideration are the important lessons viewers can extract from the show. That’s what I’m here for: To assist you. Read below the main takeaways, which will help you become a more successful and happier human being:
Don’t try to emulate your opponent even if you admire and envy her: be authentic. Spread as much jam and butter on your toast as you want, while your beautifully slim rival, sitting across from you, sips tea, dreaming she could be bathing in a chocolate tub. You will win their respect eventually.
Keep quiet and do nothing in most situations: They will sort themselves out eventually.
Don’t give in to your children. No displays of love and affection, which will only weaken them. Discipline is what they need most. Let them be bullied and brutalised at school to prove they are real men.
Love your pets more than your family and friends.
On the other hand, if animals are not pets, just go out dressed as a peasant and shoot them ruthlessly.
Complain, complain, complain about the constraints imposed upon you, as much as you want…but never try to live a freer and more fulfilling life: The privileges and pleasures of the royalty prove unsurpassable.
All problems can be solved by heavy drinking and chain smoking, or by huge doses of extramarital sex.
Pretend you are the only person on Earth that has direct contact with God – whatever your religion. People will believe you if you don’t waver.
Power has a lot to do with accents. Especially in English. Open your mouth minimally to enunciate your vowels. Let people struggle to understand what you are trying to say.
Use the word Indeed as often as possible. It will impress most commoners.
Keep a bell next to you at all times and ring it often, even if you don’t have any servants to summon.
Don’t get a real education, it will not do you any good. Learn about manners, rites, some French travel phrases, and all about the Constitution. More than that will be useless.
Lie, lie, lie.
Never touch a book. Spend your free time in long walks in muddy terrain and cold weather, drinking tea or hugging your dogs.
Go back on your promises without hesitation if it servers your agenda.
If you are having domestic problems (like your wild son went missing), go bombard some faraway country – such as Argentina – to relax a bit.
I strongly recommend you watch the show. It is already a classic.
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